I’ll want to spend as much time in the first few sessions listening and trying to understand exactly where you are in your experiences, to get a sense of what’s happening in your feelings right now, that has brought you to therapy. I’ll be checking in with you often to ensure that I’ve understood, offering reflections back until we’re both happy that we have a working language for what’s happening. 

I’ll also want to understand when these feelings began, the context in which they began and what makes them worse or better. At the end of each session I’ll look to reflect back a summary of what I think I’ve heard and you’ll tell me if it matches what you feel you’ve tried to communicate.

As we talk, I’ll look for links. Experiences we have in the present are sometimes linked to experiences in the past, or they may represent a strategy for coping with something that once worked but now fails you. Sometimes what we feel represents a tug of war between parts of ourselves that are in conflict and sometimes we’re not consciously aware of those parts, but they reveal themselves in the words we choose, the jobs or partners we choose, the way we hold ourselves, or in our dreams or our habits of thought.

Some parts might represent other people’s values, or ideas about yourself or the world that no longer serve you, or they might represent aspects yourself that you feel badly about. We’ll explore why that may be, how you adopted those ideas. Some of this might come slowly. Some might be closer to the surface. We might return to topics time and again, each time revealing a slightly different aspect or colour.

I often feel the most important work is done by you, in between sessions. As you walk and work and go on with your life, the material we surface together starts to get “processed” by you and go where it needs to go. Sometimes, a few things can start to fall into place, seemingly all by themselves, as though giving voice to them or untangling them in session was all that was needed for them to be at peace within you. Sometimes, it is the sense of being fully seen and heard that feels healing, or the sense of knowing, liking or accepting yourself as you have not done before. Other times, a sense of clarity develops around what you need to do next and that is what gives you new purpose. You may find ways to integrate difficult experiences into your life’s narrative and, even if they were unfair or senseless in themselves, find meaning in your experience of surviving them. You may feel lighter or more optimistic. You may sleep better. You may no longer feel trapped or restless or hunted. The criteria for feeling better are different for each person.

I’ll want to spend as much time in the first few sessions listening and trying to understand exactly where you are in your experiences, to get a sense of what’s happening in your feelings right now, that has brought you to therapy. I’ll be checking in with you often to ensure that I’ve understood, offering reflections back until we’re both happy that we have a working language for what’s happening. 

I’ll also want to understand when these feelings began, the context in which they began and what makes them worse or better. At the end of each session I’ll look to reflect back a summary of what I think I’ve heard and you’ll tell me if it matches what you feel you’ve tried to communicate.

As we talk, I’ll look for links. Experiences we have in the present are sometimes linked to experiences in the past, or they may represent a strategy for coping with something that once worked but now fails you. Sometimes what we feel represents a tug of war between parts of ourselves that are in conflict and sometimes we’re not consciously aware of those parts, but they reveal themselves in the words we choose, the jobs or partners we choose, the way we hold ourselves, or in our dreams or our habits of thought.

Some parts might represent other people’s values, or ideas about yourself or the world that no longer serve you, or they might represent aspects yourself that you feel badly about. We’ll explore why that may be, how you adopted those ideas. Some of this might come slowly. Some might be closer to the surface. We might return to topics time and again, each time revealing a slightly different aspect or colour.

I often feel the most important work is done by you, in between sessions. As you walk and work and go on with your life, the material we surface together starts to get “processed” by you and go where it needs to go. Sometimes, a few things can start to fall into place, seemingly all by themselves, as though giving voice to them or untangling them in session was all that was needed for them to be at peace within you. Sometimes, it is the sense of being fully seen and heard that feels healing, or the sense of knowing, liking or accepting yourself as you have not done before. Other times, a sense of clarity develops around what you need to do next and that is what gives you new purpose. You may find ways to integrate difficult experiences into your life’s narrative and, even if they were unfair or senseless in themselves, find meaning in your experience of surviving them. You may feel lighter or more optimistic. You may sleep better. You may no longer feel trapped or restless or hunted. The criteria for feeling better are different for each person.